Friday, August 26, 2011


Two words: 1.COWABUNGA 2.SHIRT



Got a new shirt design, and this mother fucker is TOTALLY WILD!!

You can purchase it here:

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Portrait of a Sweet Dude Rocking a Sweeter than Hell Wolf Shirt

17th century, Netherlands.

A man simply known as Angstigwolf becomes the first person to
rock a mutha humpin' wolf t-shirt!

Look how flawlessly his totally beautiful, billowing hair and stylish be-tasseled cloak compliment the howling wolves upon his shirt.

To commemorate this totally excellent historical dude, The Legendary Tiger Hero proudly presents thee with this work of art! Painted in the style and technique as Angstigwolf's contemporaries: The Dutch Old Masters.

Another Notable Achievement:

Angstigwolf is also the first dude to officially air guitar. However, some stupid lute player claimed that he was the first. The controversy was settled one evening at a pub. When the lute player confronted him, Angstigwolf was all like "Hell, no! You're air luting, fool!" And then Angstigwolf hopped on top of the bar and rocked the hell out! His fluffy hair swooshed around and his fingers mimicked a really hard to play solo. A crowd howled like the very wolves on Angstig's legendary shirt. In a moded daze, the lute player stumbled out of the pub and fell face first into a pile of horse shit. The rest is history.

He also had a fancy mustache.

When I learned of Angstigwolf's achievements, I HAD to create this. Not only because he's sweet, but also because those dickweeds at the Franklin Mint didn't "feel that making a commemorative coin dedicated to Angstigwolf is worth their time". Pfft. Whatever.

So, Let the spirit of the wolf and the spirit of Angstigwolf live on. No fooling...Time magazine listed Angstigwolf as #1 on their "Top 10 coolest ghosts to chill-axe with"!

Bloodsport Part I

Bloodsport. This is the most enjoyable movie ever. You've probably seen it on a lazy Sunday as part of KCOP or TNT's Double Van Damme weekend. Chances are, you also had a hangover.

Of course, Bloodsport is action-packed, and the music is TOTAL SWEETNESS but don't overlook the dialogue. Thanks to a steller cast, EVERY single line of this film is GOLDEN!! As a matter of fact, I dare to say that I enjoy the acting more than the fighting. In this multi-part series, I'm going to explore the characters and you will feel AWESOME!!!


"Very good. But Brick not hit back!" are the famous words immortalized by Chong Li. Chong Li is played by my favorite actor of all time: Bolo Yeung. Not only is he a Kung Fu Master, but his muscular tits are the size of your bay windows. You may have noticed that not only is he as strong as a horse, he looks like a horse! That's because he comes from a long -but rare- lineage of Mongolian Horse people -who are actually half horse, half man. Now, I know what you're thinking and the short answer is "Yes, there's other kinds of horse people besides centaurs." Did you know that Bolo was 50 years old when he starred in Bloodsport?! That's right...50!! Holy shit! You can read more about the biggest threat to mankind here.

Watch Chong Li totally horse-out in this compilation:

"First you break my record, now I break I break your friend!!". One thing Chong likes to do is break things. He breaks slabs of ice, world records, legs, a guy's life, he even breaks your friend. He's one Kung Fu horse who knows how to break! When he went to the movies to go see Breakin', he got pissed and "break" the entire theater for false advertising. Lucky for the people there, Chong Li actually liked the movie. Otherwise, he would have "break" them. "Hulk Smash!" is a gust of wind compared to the hurri-fucking-cane that is "You are NEX!"


Sea Battle Masterpiece


The Deicide Squid (Deicideteuthis) is the largest known squid in the world. It is also unique from other squids because their blood is composed of 100% hatred. It is currently ranked #1 in National Geographic's list of "Top 5 most hateful squids ever"

The Deicide Squid has exhibited feats of high intelligence. They excel in complex problem solving tasks and have been seen reconstructing sunken ships. It is thought that their motivation for attacking ships and totally fucking them the hell up is so that they can rebuild them. They are also good at reverse engineering Super Nintendos - which have become collector's items.

CHAPTER the 2nd: A Big Ass Bot

"For it is the time of our Fathers before they, and ye hath heard the call of the Raven wind. Hark! From The Mirror of Time appears The Metal King! Hail! The Eater of the Red One! For we shall taste of it's red flesh in The Mead Hall of Eternity!" -Viking prophecy

Big ass bots are the Deicide Squid's main adversary. They come out of nowhere and straight up bum rush the squids. Because of the bots ability to appear out of thin air, it can be presumed that
A: they possess the cloak of invisibility
B: They can time travel
C: Both

It is quite possible that these robots are created by sharks. Sharks are well known for their time traveling capabilities and their cloak of invisibility manufacturing. However, it could be that sharks learned these traits through the robots -which leads us to the age old question: Which came first? The shark or the robot? We may never know. In the meantime, enjoy this sweet ass painting!!


Raptron by Jann VanZant

Here's a jam that I made. This shit is fresh!


I'm a rappin rhymin robot from outer space
I came from far away just to fuck your face
I'm fresh I'm def I'm number one
I'll fuck your face with my lazer gun
Rappin and rhymin is what I do
I'm also programmed to say fuck you
I will serve my master I will kill for fun
I'll fuck your face with my lazer gun
I am robot you are shit
Because the bass in your face it just don't quit

Robots come from mother fucking space
they kick the fresh rhymes with the bass in your face
we'll conquer your Earth with our fresh ass rhymes
Kicking fresh beats that will blow your mind
Humans are the ones that robots despise
we'll blow your fucking face with our lazer eyes
If you want fresh then go see a bot
We got the fresh beats that are oh so hot
We don't know if we'll spare your Robocop
We can't calculate if he's human or bot

Break it down

I come from the planet of Don't Give a Fuck
I saw your stupid face and I think you suck
I'll rock it to the beat cuz my beats are sweet
If I see your stupid face then I'll kick you with my feet
Robot are sweet at rockin the mic
We really like humans.........sike!
My body shines silver and my eyes glow red
I gotta fresh microphone built inside my head
I'm a robot of the 80's and I drive a Mercedes

Shark vs Narwhal

Holy fucking shit!

The Shark

It is known that sharks are sweet at jumping out of the water in slow motion and fucking shit up with their massive jaws and razor sharp teeth. It is also known that a shark's main purpose in life is to seek the various swords of enchantment that are hidden throughout the underwater kingdom. Only then, are they able to fulfill their destiny of defeating a narwhal in a sword fight to obtain their magical secret treasure. For it is written in the sacred Texts of Sharkdom! Plus, they really dig holding aloft the magic swords and pretending that they're He-Man. That joke never gets old amongst sharks. They're always like all "Hey, look, man..I'm He-man!!" And everybody laughs.

The Narwhal

Hark! The narwhal! A vicious stabber! A vicious stabber indeed! Thou art a stabber of ice! A stabber of prey! A stabber of sharks who wield swords of enchantment!

Why must they stab? Because they have big fucking horns, that's why! Oh, and sharks are always coming after them with magical swords and shit.

How did they get the horn? The horn was granted to the narwhal by the unicorn. Basically what happened was a unicorn was riding his motorcycle underwater and a crab flew into his mouth and down his throat and caused him to choke. A nearby narwhal saw the whole thing happen. The narwhal put down his nunchucks and quickly swam over to the unicorn and performed the Heimlich Maneuver. The Unicorn was so grateful that he granted him the gift of the horn. Oh, and he let him eat the crab. Then the Unicorn was all like "With great power comes great responsibility! With this big fucking horn, you and your fellow narwhal are to be the guardians of some secret magic treasure stuff and junk!" and then the Unicorn bestowed unto him a treasure. The unicorn got back onto his crappy motorcycle and bolted and yelled out "party on dudes!"

So, what is this treasure that the narwhals protect and sharks want? It's the recipe for Doritos. Oh, and I forgot to mention that narwhals will attack sharks because they're jealous that there isn't a Narwhal Week.

So anyways, that's what's going on in my painting. Check it out, though! Look at all that lightning! That sword is totally fucking sweet, too! It's got a bat skull thingy!